One Two Three
by FelsGoddess
Summary: Han's inner thoughts about losing his two sons and the future. Inspired by- "Children: one is one, two is fun, three is a houseful." American proverb, mid 20th century- Solo family


Title: One Two Three  
>Author(s): FelsGoddess<br>Timeframe: Post-FotJ  
>Characters: Han, Leia, Jaina, Jacen, Anakin and Allan Solo<br>Genre: Proverb response  
>Keywords: Proverb challenge<br>Summary:  
>Notes: 24. Children: one is one, two is fun, three is a houseful. American proverb, mid 20th century- Solo family<p>

_Three. One, two three._

_Three Force-sensitive children running around the apartment. Three happy children jumping on the bed. Three curious children poking around the [i]Falcon_

Three little children sleeping in their beds, dreaming about their limitless futures, unaware of what was awaiting them. [/i]

"Dammit Anakin!" Han Solo yelled angrily from underneath the deck panels of the _Millennium Falcon_. "I told you to leave it alone!"

Anakin Solo rolled his eyes, grumbling about how his father was being ridiculous and unreasonable. As if he was some child that didn't know how to properly clean a ship's computer system, he scoffed as he stomped towards the boarding ramp, determined to leave his father to the twitchy computer system. He was glad Chewbacca would be back in two days to help with the cranky ship. First, they had to get it going, though, to pick him up.

"Oh no you don't," Han growled from the back of the _Falcon_. Anakin rolled his eyes again. He knew his father would hear him leaving the ship. He was sure that even if he'd moved silently his father would know.

"Anakin!"

Anakin paused, cursing himself. He turned around and stalked back towards his father. As much as he wanted to leave, he knew better. His mother would never let him get away with it. Jaina wouldn't either, when she and Jacen returned from Yavin IV.

"What the hell did you do the computers? You know the three droid brains can't take heavy modifications!" Han shouted once he saw his son's face appear over the open deck plates. A hydrospanner dangled from one hand.

"They aren't working together right," Anakin stated in exasperation. When running diagnostics, he'd discovered an error in one of the droid brains. Instead of asking his father if he could fix it, Anakin attempted it on his own. His "tinkering" cause one of the droid brains to try to control the hyperdrive.

"They never cooperate," Han grumbled. "But now one is trying to override the hyperdrive settings. What did you do?"  
>"I'll fix it!" Anakin snapped, blue eyes flashing in anger.<p>

"You better! Your mother is going to be here in an hour."

Anakin stalked over to the unit housing the _Falcon's_ computers. He flopped down on the deck, pried open the covering and got to work.

Han Solo ran his fingers over a holo of Jacen, Jaina and Anakin taken many years ago. His boys were dead, gone. One a hero; one a villain.

Anakin's ice-blue eyes stared at Han from the holo. They seemed to bore in his brain, pulling every memory Han had of his youngest son to the front of his mind. The pain…the pain never went away. Every morning he awoke knowing Anakin was dead. He would never hear him all out "Dad!" or argue with him about a problem on the _Falcon_ He welcomed the painful memories, though. He didn't want to wake up one morning and forget about his son.

Anakin died to save the Jedi. He gave up his future, one that was destined to be bright. His death fit his character. Han was proud to have a son who gave up everything for those he cared about. He had died a better man than Han could ever hope to be.

Han remembered one night when Anakin crawled up on the couch next to him. He was feeling left out of Jacen and Jaina's changing world. The two were making friends and spending more time with their peers rather than their little brother. Han figured out what was bothering Anakin and the two of them went out to the _Falcon[/]. Han gave him his first lesson in flying the beloved craft. The look of thrill on Anakin's face as pure Solo, making Han feel more connected to his son than ever before. It was far too easy to fade in the background next to the Force._

_[i]With the stab of the amphistaff and the will of the Force, three became two. _

"Dad! Hey, Dad, look at this!" Jacen Solo shouted. He was crouched next to a puddle on Yavin IV.  
>Han dropped next to him as he asked, "What did you find, son?"<p>

"I don't know what it's called. It's a lizard," Jacen said as he reached his hand down to the tiny creature. Han waited quietly as the lizard ran into Jacen's hand. The boy gently petted the reptile's head. He cocked his head, as if he were listening, which Han reflect, he probably was.

"He's lost," Jacen said.

"Where is his home?" Han asked.

"He's chilly."

"How about you set him on that rock over there?" Han suggested, pointing to a cluster of pebbles half a meter away.

Jacen nodded enthusiastically. He carefully carried the lizard to the rocks and lowered his hand. The lizard scurried down the boy's hand and settled on the rock. Jacen stared at it for a moment, and then went back to Han.

"He looks happy," Han said as he watched the lizard sunbathe.

Jacen smiled in satisfaction. Han reached out and ruffled his son's hair, "Come on, kid. Your mom's waiting."

"I wish we could stay longer," Jacen said with a longing look towards the forest as he and Han walked back to the Jedi Temple.

"Me too, but your uncle and aunt are leaving later today. Plus, we have to pick up Chewie," Han reminded Jacen.

Jacen's eyes lit up as he exclaimed, "Are we staying with Chewie's family?"

"For one night. You know Malla won't let us leave without a good meal," Han said with a chuckle.

Jacen gave Han a toothy grin, "You think Mom will let us ride speeders with Lumpy?"

Han winked, "Maybe."

Jacen stared at Han from the holo. He was clutching some odd creature in one hand, a pose Han had seen more times than he could recall- though he tried to remember each one. Sweet, innocent Jacen; the boy who would do everything possible to preserve life. He cried as a five-year-old when a politician spoke of killing an eopie for sport. He begged the man to leave the creature alone. Han wanted to shoot the official after he insulted Jacen. He'd settled for threatening the man. Murder wasn't something a small child needed to see. The Solos were then stuck with paying for food and board for the eopie for two weeks until Leia was able to donate it to a zoo. It was worth it, though, to see Jacen feed the creature from his hands and the joy in his eyes.

Han would have given anything for that Jacen to have won out over whatever dark being warped his mind. He always wondered if there was a moment he missed when Jacen needed him. Was it as a child? After he returned from captivity? When he returned from defeating Omini or after his five-year journey? Han knew he failed, no matter what others told him. He would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for it, though he'd never succeed.

_The Dark Side consumed the other and death came once again, leaving only one._

Jaina kicked her legs back and forth as she sat in the pilot's seat of the _Falcon_. She ran her small fingers over the piloting yoke. She turned to her father quickly, pigtail braids whipping around. She gave him her sweetest smile, "Daddy, can I please fly?"

Han smiled at him, "Not today, sweetie."

Jaina frowned, "But we are we going to do?"

"Well, you want to help me check the hyperdrive?" Han suggested, trying to come up with something to entertain his eight-year-old daughter.

Jaina opened her mouth to respond, but the comm sounded. Han flicked it on and said, "Solo."

"Han, we're ready," Leia's voiced called out.

"Be there in soon, Princess," Han responded.

"Thank you," she answered and disconnected. Han turned to Jaina and said, "Time to pick up your mom and brothers."

Jaina hopped out of the pilot's chair. "I'm glad I didn't have to go to Admiral Miler's skyhook."

Han chuckled. Leia took Anakin and Jacen with her to visit Admiral Miler. She was injured in a speeder accident. She commanded the Second Fleet, well, had commanded it until now. One of the larger rooms of the skyhook was a greenhouse. Leia thought Jacen would enjoy the plants and the Anakin was enamored with skyhooks in general. Han wanted to spend the afternoon with Jaina.

He glanced over at his daughter as she crawled into the navigator's seat. "Jay, come here."

Jaina grinned in excitement, "Do I get to help?"

Han nodded. He belted the two of them into the pilot's chair. He started up the _Falcon_ and took off. After a moment, he let Jaina help him fly the beloved ship from the family's landing platform to the skyhook.

Twenty minutes later, the _Falcon_ landed in the skyhook. Jaina jumped out of Han's lap after he removed the restraints. She ran to the landing ramp, jumped up and smacked the controls. Leia, Anakin and Jacen were waiting for them. Jaina ran down, Han close behind her, exclaiming, "Daddy let me fly the _Falcon_ with him!"

Leia's eyes grew wide as she caught Jaina, "That's great, honey."

Han smiled sheepishly at Leia as she shook her head in amusement. It wasn't the first time Jaina had found her way into the pilot's seat and both parents knew it wouldn't be her last. It was impossible for Han to deny his daughter's desire to be one with the stars.

Jaina's stubborn eyes stared at him from the holo, so much like her mother. She was her brothers' protector. She always took care of Anakin, no matter what. When Han found out that Anakin took the amphistaff for Jaina, he understood her guilt. She felt she had failed. With Jacen, Jaina protected him from further damnation. It was twisted logic, some would say, but a view Han would defend until he died. He refused to allow his little girl, his princess, to be tarnished by onlookers for stopping her brother.

Han could hear Jaina telling a story to Allana in the other room. In a few months, Jaina would have a son of her own. Han hoped that she would never have to say goodbye to any child she had.

Han tucked the picture back into its protective sleeve and set it on the table by his chair. He never regretted having three children. As hard as Anakin's death was, he'd never give up the years his son was with them. And despite Jacen's crimes, he would always love his son.

He pushed himself up and made his way into the sitting room. Jaina looked up at him with a smile as she continued to read to Allana. Han leaned against the wall as he waited for Jaina to finish the story.

"Are you okay, Dad?" Jaina asked quietly.

"Yeah, sweetheart," Han reassured her. He walked over to Jaina and Allana. Allana had fallen asleep. Han smiled softly at his granddaughter and then turned to Jaina, "Everything's fine."

_Three. One. Two. Three._

_Three Force-sensitive children chattering happily. Three mischievous children finding their way into trouble. Three sweet children dreaming of the stars._

_Three little children, walking hand-in-hand._


End file.
